Thursday, June 3, 2010

Countdown to Rapeville

The NBA Finals start tonight. Celtics. Lakers. It doesn't get any better if you are a fan of basketball, nevermind a Celtics or Lakers fan (although we don't know why anybody in their right mind would root for the Lakers. Which I guess explains why Jack Nicholson is at every game). The Lakers have to be coming in looking to avenge their Finals loss back in 08, and the Celtics are looking to prove the odds-makers wrong by tearing LA apart. The C's have been doubted every step of the way in these playoffs. After getting by Miami, everybody picked Cleveland to wipe the Celtics clean. And then once we tamed Queen James, everybody picked the Magic to wipe the Celtics clean. And now, the Lakers are getting the nod over the Celts. When are people going to learn? This team is a lot better than it was during the regular season. You think Paul Pierce cared if he beat some average team with 20 games left to go in the season? Not a chance. Pierce, as the rest of his veteran teammates know, understand that once you get into the playoffs, it's a whole different season. If you show up healthy and ready to compete, you are going to go somewhere. What did having great records in the regular season do for the Magic and the Cavs? Exactly.

If you want my reasoning behind why I think the Celtics will own the Lakers, here it is. First, the Laker big men are a bunch of little girls who will not be able to handle the physical play of KG, Perk, and Big Baby. Actually, the entire Laker team will be physically overmatched by the Celtics. Any team who needs to offer incentives to take charges is clearly not tough enough. You think Big Baby needs an incentive to take a charge? Shit, he would probably pay Doc Rivers 50 bucks every time he took a charge and still keep doing it. Second, I think that the Celtics defense will be too tough for the Lakers. Sure, Kobe will go for 30-10-10 a couple times, but if the Celtics can neutralize the rest of the team offensively then there is no possible way LA wins.

Bottom line, the Celtics are gonna take this series. I'm saying 6 games max, but probably 5. BEAT LA!

Also, the title of this post is funny on two levels - the Lakers are gonna get raped, and Kobe rapes innocent chicks. Facts.

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