Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The 2012 Hockey LEast Awards

There are plenty of players who suit up every year in Hockey East, but only a special few are bad enough to make the BSRS All Hockey LEast team.  Taken into account are: stat lines, games played, and whether or not they have pissed us off on a personal level.  Very professional, we know.

(Worst) Player of the Year
An absolutely obvious decision.  Here's a hint for those of you in the dark - he acted like a moron, got kicked out of BU, rejected by BC, and finally accepted by Northeastern.  Yes, yes - our Hockey LEast Valuable Player for 2011-2012 is the one and only Vinny Saponari.  While he claimed to be a "sniper" in his Grammy nominated song "Party Like a Puckstar", Vin only managed to sneak the puck into the net 7 times all year.  Keep in mind - one of those was an empty netter. Also, anybody who refuses to shake the hand of a former coach - and a legend at that - is a classless, mouth-breathing goon.  Stay classy, Saponari.

(Worst) Coach of the Year
This one was actually a tie between NU's Jim MadAgain and Amherst's Toot Cahoon. Madigan is included here simply because he wouldn't stop playing Chris Rawlings in net. Seriously guy - how do you not realize that the kid is simply inconsistent as hell? Clay Witt is, in my opinion, a much steadier goaltender than Rawlings (yes, Rawlings is talented. Yes, he can carry a team on his back. Irrelevant when you don't know what you're getting on a given night). And while Cahoon led his team to a Hockey East playoff spot, his team underperformed for the majority of the year - something that falls back largely on the coach. Seriously, how many former Parker assistants does it take to lead a relevant team?

(Worst) Rookie of the Year
This one was tough and took a group effort to come to a decision. After careful deliberation, we've landed on Johnny Gau--- just kidding. We are going with Boston College's Michael Sit. The freshman forward from Minnesota put up a stellar 0-3-3 line in 31 games played. That translates to a .097 pts/game average. That is just plain bad. Usually when a player has trouble putting the puck in the net like that, they goon it up Bigos-style, but Sit only has 3 minor penalties on the season.  As far as we can tell, he's only useful for Sit-ting on the bench.

Biggest Goon (King of the Penalty Box)
This one is the easiest award to give out so far. We are going with Kyle Bigos and his 44 penalties/110 penalty minutes. Ever since he joined Merrimack and tried to take on the famous Eric Gryba, we haven't been fans of this big mongoloid. He takes every opportunity to hit guys in vulnerable positions, especially those significantly smaller than him. We have been told he is a nice guy off the ice, but who cares about that, right?

First Team All Hockey Least
Forwards: Kevin Czepiel - Mass ( 3-3-6, 33 GP, -7), Shayne Thompson - Lowell (1-3-4, 28 GP, -8), Connor Leen - Maine ( 1-0-1, 22 GP, -9)

Defensemen: Brett Kostolansky - UNH (2-2-4, 34 GP, -17), Blake Doerring - UVM (1-3-4, 29 GP, -14)

Goalie: Rob Madore - UVM (.875 SP, 3.78 GAA, 28 GP, -40)

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