Monday, April 22, 2013

That's Enough, NoDak

If you're like me, you probably already know by now that things in our favorite 1500-mile-away, barely-inhabited wasteland of North Dakota have gotten out of hand recently. I try and keep up with the happenings  in NoDak, when anything's actually happening at all. It's like having a younger half-brother, but one who's still struggling to overcome fetal alcohol syndrome and the aftereffects of a debilitating head injury suffered in a tragic school bus accident. It's not his fault he's slow and needs help, but that's still the reality. I like to keep an eye on them, to make sure they don't hurt themselves.

After making first contact with the NoDak natives, who have a surprisingly strong grasp of the way the internet works, QQ was dispatched with a Dog Pound contingent to Hermann Gรถring Forum Ralph Engelstad Arena and recorded his first-hand account as well. We knew the inhabitants of the Worst Dakota Ever were ruthless. We knew they had more than their fair share of ignorant, shameless, hypocritical, and downright unintelligent bigots.

What we didn't know is that they lack even a shred of a sense of community. For a red state so hell-bent on standing together to expose liberal freedom-hating communist Obamacare pussies (ie. anyone outside of the 85-120 degrees of longitude in the USA), North Dakota sure turns on its own quickly.

Last night, in his first broadcast as an anchor for the NBC nightly news affiliate KFYR (how shitty are their news station acronyms out there, huh?), FNG A.J. Clemente accidentally uttered some words that you aren't supposed to say on network television.

Now, listen. Here at BSRS we aren't exactly English royalty in the way we conduct ourselves. The President of the United States could be stopping by BSRS HQ and any one of us (except for Feliz Miguel, that jolly sweetheart) would probably let slip far worse than what Clemente muttered into his microphone, and we aren't even Tea Party members. But we understand that those things don't belong in the news broadcasts of a civilized society (or even in NoDak).

But there's a line that NoDak has drawn for themselves over the years and they just crossed it by firing A.J. Clemente for his gaffe.

That's right. The overwhelmingly conservative state of North Dakota has taken in its hand the neonatal career of A.J. Clemente, a newly born career full of potential and innocence, and snuffed it out like Dr. Kermit.

No, not that oneGoogle it.

Did Clemente make a mistake? Yes. Does he deserve a suspension equivalent to a 5-minute major during which time he will feel shame? Sure. But should KFYR have impulsively taken a coat hanger to his fledgling career without even talking to the network chaplin or their parents first? Certainly not. What if YOUR career had been truncated after your first mistake? KFYR might think that it has the "choice" to terminate A.J. Clemente's career before it even begins, but they had better think again. That's why I'm pro-career.

It's times like these I'm just happy to be from New York, where shit like this is par for the incredibly entertaining nightly news course.

1 comment:

  1. Who gives a rats ass about NoDak?