Sunday, December 30, 2012

Denver Recap: "What Does 5-on-5 Hockey Look Like Again?" Edition

Hooooooo boy. While a lesser blogger would still be in the fetal position trying to erase last night from memory, here at BSRS we are men of action. Which is why I started drinking unhealthy amounts of alcohol in the third period of last night's BU loss at Denver, and continued until approximately 3 am. Last night's loss was, by far, the worst BU hockey I've had the displeasure to witness not just this season, but probably in at least a year. It was an absolute disaster from start to finish. I'm still too rattled to provide a fully organized recap, so here are some of the notes I took during the game, followed by a quick review at the end. I'd like to personally thank the local deli and Dunkin for providing me with an egg sandwich and coffee, without which this post could not have been possible.

Today's theme:


Early minutes, D-men back on their heels. Couple of turnovers gave Denver early chances. Still scoreless after 3:30.

Blown elbowing call on a shoulder to shoulder hit just because the Pioneer crumpled to the ice. Not a good omen.

Denver PP goal at 4:59. Following the goal, the game immediately gets out of hand for the next 12 minutes. A big thank you to the zebras who thought Laners shoulder to shoulder hit was an elbow. Horrible call but on the bright side, I'm learning more about human anatomy than my physiology class ever taught me.

DU controlled the next ten minutes easily. Worst hockey I’ve seen from BU since the first game at the Whitt in October.

Second line was the lone positive point about the first period, especially in the last 5 minutes. BU was BUZZING big time to close out the period but a couple of bouncing pucks and a couple of very nice saves by Olkinuora kept the terriers scoreless after one.

Just really deplorable play all around. On our heels in the D zone, no pressure against the DU forecheck, bad passes, bad decisions, bad energy. Every in-zone possession for Denver looked like a powerplay because we tried to collapse into the slot and give them all day and plenty of ice to cycle. Obviously didn’t work. Pluses: breakout was good in the first and last five minutes of the period. What little time was spent in the offensive zone was solid.

Early in second period, BU buzzing much more than the first period. Fully controlling the first 5 min. Olkinuora making great saves. Kurker got in alone point blank, deked out the Finnish tendy and somehow missed the backhand wide at a gaping net.

DU forechecking hard, causing a couple of problems early but terriers get lucky and remains 1-0.

BU with multiple grade-As and very close chances, including 2 shots off the mask of olkinuora so far in the game.

Denver consistently outplaying BU along the boards. Not sure if it’s physicality and strength or quickness and pressure with slow terrier decision making, but BU having lots of trouble in scrums.

Megan missed the net 3 fucking times all alone 1 on 1 in grade a chances against Olkinuora. MAKE HIM MAKE A SAVE.

Danny Boy goes for slashing and Denver quickly capitalizes. A tic-tac-toe passing play embarrasses every human being wearing scarlet on the ice before undressing OC (not in the good way) for the easiest goal ever in an open net. I’m now calling liquor stores to see what’s open nearby.

These Denver announcers are intolerable. They’ve said “Casey Hohmann” about 8 times so far. Denver commentator: "and a slash here, as Arnold just had the stick just eviscerate in his hands". If anyone can explain how a long stick of carbon composite material can "eviscerate" in someone's hands and make it make sense, I will eat my hat. Idiots.

All of the liquor stores are closed, I will be retrieving beer from 7-11 presently. FUCK THIS:


Other points:
  • Early in the game I had made shit-lists for Terrier failures. I had my bottom-three stars in the first and second periods. By the end of the game I threw it all out. No one should be spared from the wrath of the fans after this performance. So ugly in every way.
  • That being said, it's worth mentioning some special cases. Alexx Privitera took like 47 penalties last night including a roughing penalty that nullified BU's 5-minute major powerplay drawn after a high hit on Rosen, and a game misconduct for kicking a Pioneer as he got up from a scrum in O'Connor's crease. The replay shows more of a poke or a nudge, but definitely stupid and illegal. He didn't wind up and boot anybody, and he wasn't going to injure anyone with that kick, but he still fucking kicked a dude who was laying on the ice. That is not cool, regardless of the strength of the kick. I'm not sure where anyone's head was at last night, but Dos Equis has to take home the award for longest and most pungent brain fart. Expect him not to bike back to Boston, but to walk home while carrying a bike. Ugh.
  • The 6-0 final score *shudder* broke the BU non-shutout streak. Heading into Denver, BU hadn't been shut out by a team in 125 straight games, the longest streak in DI cawlidge hawkey. That's one hundred and twenty-five games. Over three years. An historic low, last night. The last shutout loss was in November 2009, a 1-0 defeat by Northeastern.
  • Holy shit, did Juho Olkinuora stand on his head last night. Posting a 29-save shutout, he stoned BU on probably a dozen grade A scoring chances, including back to back shorthanded breakaway attempts by O'Regan and E-Rod. Danny Boy was denied by an absolutely wild pad stack. Nuts. As infuriating as it was to watch BU fail miserably to score again and again, as a goaltending buff it was objectively cool to see him put on such a clinic.
  • Ben "The Bear Jew" Rosen took a high and brutal elbow to the head in the first period and left the game. He did not return and is reportedly still undergoing concussion testing. BSRS hopes for his quick and full recovery.
  • Captain Megan was also off his game all night, missing the net on three consecutive grade-A point blank one-on-one chances against Olkinuora. Of course, he isn't alone in that regard. Basically no one in scarlet showed up to play last night, with the possible exception of the second offensive line. Megan would later take a nasty knee-on-knee hit in the third period at the DU blue line, and went down in a heap. He eventually skated off the ice under his own power but was clutching his shoulder in pain and did not return.
  • Seriously. So many fucking penalties. 29 total in the game, Privy and Scott Mayfield (who elbowed Rosie) ejected, and 17 BU penalties. What a joke. While DU scored a couple of goals on even strength 4v4 play, every DU goal came with a Terrier in the penalty box. Between this and the loss at Conte Forum earlier in the month, I'm suddenly extremely worried about this team's ability to kill penalties. Obviously the bike rides aren't a big enough deterrent. If I were Parker I'd start thinking up more cruel and unusual punishments for playing like a fucking idiot.

  • Possibly even worse than the effort put in by the Terriers last night was the manner in which they dealt with the blowout by the end of the game. Multiple 5-on-3s in the third period as the scarlet sweaters started letting their frustrations get the better of them. As a result, things got increasingly chippy after the whistles until eventually some of the Terriers were downright headhunting. After one scrum near OC's net in the third, Noons and MacGregor just started crosschecking people and raging out on random Pioneers. Even OC started slashing random DU players who skated too close to him by the end of the game. BU had more scoring power than they had discipline last night. Awful.
  • This is standard BU ridiculousness by now. The last three years we've posted a loss after a long end-of-semester break including a loss to Notre Dame last year and Brown the year before.

To close it out, here is a visual representation of BU's effort last night.

And on that note, this game never happened and I can't wait for Jan 4 vs RPI to finally watch some BU hockey for the first time in almost a month.

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